My partner left me after 8yrs and took our son. I feel empty & lost without her! Advice ?

Im 38, from California and was with my partner for 8yrs, she is 28 and the mother of my 5yr old son. We broke up in January as i was always traveling for my job and was never home, she always came with me but as our son got older she decided to stay behind a bit more & i would miss her like crazy. She never believed in marriage so we agreed not to. When i met my ex i had overcome a serious drug addiction the previous year, i was addicted for 6yrs & lost everything, i almost died as a result. The year before i met her i realized i needed to get into rehab & i overcame it. The addiction left me with many injuries & problems some requiring surgery, i also have permanent scarring on the top of my arms which im ashamed of I swore i would never let my son do anything i did in my life. I was told i may not be able to give my ex a baby but against the odds my son was born and he is my life. She is my rock and done everything for me, always said she loved me. Since my ex decided to end things i feel like my heart has been torn out of my body, she is the reason i get up each morning & i always told her i loved her more than anything, i can look after them both financially. When i go pick up my son from her place & i see her with my son i cant stop smiling, there both the reason i needed to get through the hauntings of my past, she idolizes our son he is her world and they are very close. We are both on talking terms for our son but i want her back more than anything. One of her girl friends told me that she kept crying when she left and kept saying how much she loved and missed me apparently she was very confused. I've lost the two most important things in my life. I feel like i've hit rock bottom, im lost without her. Any advice?